."YOU MAY BE TALIBAN IF ..."
1. You refine heroin for a living but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun, a $5,000 rocket launcher and cases of ammo for both, but no shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your pants.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two.
10. You've got a crush on your neighbor's goat