Monday, August 24, 2009
Today's Chuckle
One day John came home > with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot> that John claimed was actually a lie detector. > > It was about 5:30 that > afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home> from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.> > "Where have you been? Why are you over 2 > hours late getting home?" asked John. > > "Several of us went to > the library to work on an extra credit project," said> Tommy. > > The robot walked > around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely> out of his chair.> > "Son," said John, "this robot is a lie> detector, now tell us where > you really were after school."> > "We went to Bobby's house and > watched a movie." said Tommy. > > "What did you watch?" asked Marsha. > > "The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.> > The robot went around > to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his> chair. > > With his lip > quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am> sorry I lied. We really > watched a tape called Sex Queen." > > "I am ashamed of you son," > said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents." > > The robot walked > around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked> him out of his chair.> > Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said,> > "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be> too mad with Tommy. After all, > he is your son!" > > The robot walked > around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair. > -- > Thank you,
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A crusty old Sergeant found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant for conversation.
'Excuse me, Sergeant , but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering
you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'
'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.'
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?'
'1955, ma'am.'
'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean,
no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'
The Sergeant said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'
(Gotta love military time)
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